What on Earth is Perspective Transformation?

And what does it have to do with aging??

Quite simply – according to Kate McKenzie anyway! – perspective transformation is putting on a new pair of glasses and “seeing” something in a different way. And how we “see” aging makes all the difference!

Children sunglasses, sun shades or spectacles isolated on white Getting a bit more “technical” now…in grad school – not so very long ago! – I became aware of the late Jack Mezirow’s theory of perspective transformation. And I loved it! Paraphrasing Mezirow, a sociologist and Emeritus Professor at Columbia University, perspective transformation is a conscious recognition of the difference between an old viewpoint and a new one…and “seeing” the newer perspective as being of more value. Voila! Rather than seeing aging as a sad state of affairs we can see aging as a God-given opportunity to learn, grow, and do more with our lives.

Our perspective – like a pair of glasses – affects the way we see everything in life….not just aging. If you think about it, every day – consciously and unconsciously – we all engage in “meaning-making.” We assign meaning to everything that happens in our lives. To a large extent that assigned meaning determines the quality of our lives. We “see” things as good or bad, positive or negative, worthwhile or worthless, happy or sad, fun or boring, important or unimportant. Need I go on?

In 1978 when Jack Mezirow wrote about perspective transformation, I am quite sure he didn’t have perspectives on aging in mind. Well, I do!

How about we all try on a brand new pair of glasses and see getting older as an amazing adventure that we will experience together on this life journey?

Please say you will!

♥

Learning from “The Oak Tree”

“The Oak Tree” by Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr. reminds us of our strength.

nature red forest leaves — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let me just start by saying that I am definitely not a cryer. While I often feel like crying, for whatever reason (not to be explored here!) I don’t often experience that luxury.

The other day I did cry. What brought me to tears was hearing this poem for the first time.

The Oak Tree
by Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr.

A mighty wind blew night and day
It stole the oak tree’s leaves away
Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark

But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around
The weary wind gave up and spoke.
How can you still be standing Oak?

The oak tree said, I know that you
Can break each branch of mine in two
Carry every leaf away
Shake my limbs, and make me sway

But I have roots stretched in the earth
Growing stronger since my birth
You’ll never touch them, for you see
They are the deepest part of me

Until today, I wasn’t sure
Of just how much I could endure
But now I’ve found, with thanks to you
I’m stronger than I ever knew.

As I read this poem again, tears threaten. Something tells me that, like me, you have at times felt “at the end of your rope,” wondering how you could possibly face another minute, another hour, another day. Isn’t it wonderful when we recognize that we have strength we didn’t realize we had? And isn’t it also wonderful that, when we need it most, a friend will reach out to help us be strong?

Just one more thing. Let’s never be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help when we need it is a sign of strength rather than weakness. Fellow travelers on this journey of aging are within reach, ready and willing to help. As the Beatles reminded us a few decades ago, “I get by with a little help from my friends!”

Choose to be The Oak Tree, my friends!

Care to share??

♥

Discovering Our Own Unique “Right Life”

So…do the people, places and activities in your life contribute to your happiness and well-being??

silhouette photo of person — Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

If I read a book and learn something new that I remember for a really long time, then reading that book was worth my time. Reading Finding My Own North Star by Martha Beck – which I read at least ten years ago – was definitely worth my time! In this book Dr. Beck shares her advice on discovering our own unique “right life” – or, as she refers to it, our Own North Star.

Before I get to what I remember most about this book (and please keep reading!), let me share a few valuable insights that Dr. Beck provided. First, none of the individuals that have touched our lives have the ability to control our choices. We do sometimes forget that. Second, accepting impermanence means embracing the world as it is, complete with loss. That acceptance becomes even more important as we grow older. Next, it’s important to “hang out with our favorite people” – our “tribe.” Can’t argue with that!

Now on to my very favorite part of Dr. Beck’s book! The Lifestyle Profile allows us to plot along a negative-to-positive continuum how our body reacts to the people in our lives, the activities in our lives, and the places where we spend our time. I’ve attached a somewhat abbreviated version of the Profile if you’d like to give it a try. Please take a look!

Now, hopefully we inherently know what and who have either positive or negative impacts on our lives. However, seeing that “in black and white” can be eye-opening – at the very least – or even at times alarming. Right there in front of us, on that piece of paper, we can see where we just might want to make some changes in our life!

All in all, Finding Your Own North Star offers some helpful advice for “turning your life into a work of art.” Just as the “real” North Star up in the heavens helps sailors navigate on stormy seas, our own North Star can help us find our way back “home” when we veer off course, which we sometimes do. Personally, I’ll take all the help I can get!

And our journey continues at the great University of Life!